January 10, 2006
Single Black Female Seeks Male Companion
This has got to be one of the best ÝÝ'single' ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 555-6420 and ask for Susie.
I'll be waiting...
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever.
Men can be very easy.
best wishes for 2006
YEAR OF THE DOG!
12:45 Posted in Bits n' Pieces | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: Life
October 24, 2005
Letters from the kids!
12:50 Posted in Bits n' Pieces | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: Life
October 18, 2005
Some Philosophies:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh. Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day. Have a wonderful day with many smiles.
13:01 Posted in Bits n' Pieces | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: Life
July 29, 2005
SLIGHT EDGE:
"There is no sudden leap to greatness. Your success lies in doing, day by day. Your upward reach comes from working well and carefully."-- Max Steingart
"We've all heard the expression, 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' Well, I've got a good question for you: What if it's true? Wouldn't that be easy to do – to eat an apple a day? Here's the problem: It's also easy not to do."-- Jim Rohn
"Those people who develop the ability to continuously acquire new and better forms of knowledge that they can apply to their work and to their lives will be the movers and shakers in our society for the indefinite future." -- ---- Brian Tracy
"Where many people go wrong in trying to reach their goals is in constantly looking for the big hit, the home run, the magic answer that suddenly transforms their dreams into reality. The problem is that the big hit never comes without a great deal of little hits first. Success in most things comes not from some gigantic stroke of fate, but from simple, incremental progress."-- Andrew Wood
And here’s about SUCCESS:
Success can make you go one of two ways. It can make you a prima donna, or it can smooth the edges, take away the insecurities, let the nice things come out.
Barbara Walters
TV journalist
The success of most things depends upon knowing how long it will take to succeed.
Charles-Louis de Secondat (1689-1755)
Philosopher and lawyer
12:59 Posted in Bits n' Pieces | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: Life
Stress Management:
STRESS MANAGEMENT
"Nature tops the list of potent tranquilizers and stress reducers. The mere sound of moving water has been shown to lower blood pressure." -- Patch Adams
"Denying or refusing to deal with some unpleasant fact in your life is the source of most stress and unhappiness." -- Brian Tracy
"I am more and more convinced that our happiness or our unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves." -- Karl Wilhelm Von Humboldt
"In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you." -- Deepak Chopra
And here's about LEGACY:
Sometimes the only difference we can make is passing our wisdom on to someone who will make the bigger difference.
Linda B. Gray
Minister
A hundred years from now, it won't matter what your bank account was, the sort of house you lived in, or the kind of car you drove, but the world may be different because you were important in the life of a child.
Author unknown
12:58 Posted in Bits n' Pieces | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: Life
July 14, 2005
Words of wisdom to remember...
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
16. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
17. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
18. Your friends love you anyway.
12:50 Posted in Bits n' Pieces | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: Life
July 07, 2005
Freedom & Imagination
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." -- The Declaration of Independence
"The arms we have been compelled by our enemies to assume we will, in defiance of every hazard, with unabating firmness and perseverance, employ for the preservation of our liberties being with one mind resolved to die free rather than live slaves." -- Thomas Jefferson
"Whatever the standard of freedom and independence has been or shall be unfurled, there will be America's heart, her benedictions and her prayers." -- John Quincy Adams
"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman." --Thomas Paine
What Every Leader Needs to Teach, What Every Child Needs to Learn!
"The instruction manual that should have been delivered with each child."
IMAGINATION
You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Humorist
Imagination is the eye of the soul.
Joseph Joubert (1754-1824)
Essayist and moralist
12:19 Posted in Bits n' Pieces | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: Life